Ronald Walker

Part 1-2

Part 1


            Years ago (many) I done a lot of hitch hiking, and still occasionally get the itchy feet- as my sisters called it-- I say this, sane people will do the craziest things, crazy people will make the smartest decisions, smart people will have the least common sense, Christian people will try to bully you, regurgitating verse until you really want to give them a glimpse of the devil in you, nicest people say the meanest things- mean people, well, we are mean. 

            I have had my thumb stuck out for days, nobody picks me up, but at night the serious traveler will give you a ride so they have someone to keep them awake. I've slept under bridges, been robbed, done some robbing, awakened in a ditch with no memory, oh wait- I jumped, no wonder. It sure beats getting shot. Was on the road with a trucker that said he was making a run for Ol' Glory. There was a courthouse that needed an attitude adjustment, he was the guy for the job. Had to get off that ride, but not before he set me up with another crazy trucker, a guy that saw ghosts and spiders on the hood of his conventional rig- and swatted the windshield to get them out of the way. You would think 'hey, that's scary' but on the reals, this was entertainment.

           Wound up on the road with him for 3 months, not a druggie, just psycho. There was a time in downtown New York I was helping unload his truck by Silicone Valley when a giant of a guy carried my skinny ass out of the trailer by the hair of my head. Said this was his turf and his money. The driver told me get in the truck, let Hambone unload it.

Hambone wound up nodding on heroin in the trailer, which was unloaded, and became an unwilling travel partner. Next stop was Washington State…Seattle. 

            When the doors opened up at the next dock, some 2000 miles later, there was Hambone- mad as hell leaping down from the dock. Headed to the driver’s window and proceeded to opening the door on the cab. Well, Stu wasn't having it, slamming on the brakes in reverse, he managed to get the estranged dock worker off the running board, tumbling across the parking lot, when Stu jumped out and began methodically beating this dock worker and calling him a ghost- I couldn't help but laugh. Karma turned out to be a 150 lb. trucker. 

            I could tell many more stories about the adventures on the road hitch hiking, and probably will, someday.


Part 2

            Sometimes it's hard to not go out and try to do some of this stuff again- it was fun and very kewl ... Part of this story is true, some isn't...  you all know about the Stanley hotel- right? At the crossing for Devils Gulch road- which leads to the Hotel- is a duplex, i lived there awhile- and farther down Devils gulch is Glenhaven- I lived at the red stallion lodge - friends there is a huge mountain in front of you -one behind you -and you are in a canyon, a feeder creek for the big Thompson runs from the mountain behind the lodge, and I liked fishing for brookie in the ice- that and the pint of cinnamon schnapps i kept in my pocket were all i needed for entertainment...

            now i said i would like to -but there was an obstacle- this huge mountain with 5ft of snow-had to wear snowshoes or you weren’t getting far...and i can honestly say as much as i would like to climb a huge mountain in subzero temps, I’m crazy- not dumb...

            Back to the story- this particular trip i had done well- I had about 20 brookie and it was still daylight, so I put my mesh basket with fish and beer in the creek- it was cccold - so was beer after 5mins. I was gathering stuff for a fire and had just tossed a match on it- the kerosene made a whoosh sound- I heard a growl and a psst as one of my beer cans were punctured by his teeth- bear- have you ever tried to run or climb a tree in snowshoes? Ain’t happening friend- I had to improvise fast...the bear had seen the fire and was heading to it- now bears hibernate in winter, but someone forgot to tell him that- but he kept getting bogged down in the snow, and I had an idea. I buried myself in a deep snowdrift- and waited and waited. Soon I got dozy and slept a bit- was warmer in the snow than wind for sure and i was tired- and half drunk...

When I woke the bear was gone as were my fish, beer and backpack, but I still had my pole, some bait and my cigs and whiskey were in my pocket. I only saw one thing to do so I left the pole and bait and was drunk by the time I got off that rock- on second thought- I don't think I’d like to do that again! 

© 2019 Tapestry, Annual TAMUK Women & Gender Studies Journal

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